Mary Johnson waited until her late thirties to have a baby. She had a high level job at a public relations agency in New York City and planned on working after the baby was born. She took a three-month maternity leave.

“During that time, I did check in with the office on a daily basis,” she says. “I was really torn between going back to work full time and staying home. While being a mom is the best and hardest job I’ve ever had, there were times when I was bored at home. I missed the adult conversations and the camaraderie of my office buddies.”

When she did return to work full time, she missed not being with her child. “I also wasn’t up to full speed,” she says. “Before my son was born, I managed a full load of clients at the office. I also supervised six workers. Once my son was born, I was tired a lot. I wanted to do it all, but just couldn’t. I truly thought there was something wrong with me. Even making dinner—a simple task—seemed overwhelming at times. Super mom, I was not.”

According to a study from the Families and Work Institute, “70 percent of women in dual-earner couples report taking greater responsibility for routine child care than their male partners.”

To most moms, caring for a child, having a career, and running a household is one job. “The trick is knowing when to ask for help, accepting help, and knowing that it is okay if the house isn’t spotless,” says Donna Snyder, M.Ed., Early Childhood/Character Education Development Specialist. “There isn’t one solution for all moms and it’s a learn as you go process.”

Synder shares these tips on finding good work/home balance:

1. Accept help from your husband, family and friends.
2. Build a support system of friends and family you can call on in an emergency.
3. Hire a nanny.
4. Cook meals in bulk and enjoy the benefits of freezing and defrosting.
5. Plan some quiet time: soak in a tub, take a walk by yourself. Let the kids’ know that this is “mommy time.”
6. Know there are many firsts. If you miss the first time you child walks, when you come home from the office and see it happening then that will be your first time.

Michele C. Hollow writes about lifestyle, interiors, travel and pets. Her blog is Pet News and Views.